Why Oral Sex is So Important

As I talk about in my e-book, Blow Him Away: An Escort's Guide to Giving Exceptional Head, by far and away the majority of requests I receive from my clients are for blow jobs. Sadly, they are either not getting them from their partners, or their partners lack the skills to give them a satisfying blow job.

If you've ever been on the receiving end of oral sex, you know that nothing else feels quite like it. A wet and warm tongue on your clit can do things to you that a penis simply can't accomplish on its own! Similarly, the type of pleasure a man feels from having his penis enveloped in your warm wet mouth is incomparable to any other experience.

So we know how great it feels, but why is the giving and receiving of oral sex so important in a relationship?

The key word here is "giving." Giving - in any capacity - makes us feel good as human beings. We're so caught up in our own frenzied lives, we don't always take the time to look around and see what's going on with our friends, family, and even colleagues. But if you can, try to recall the last time someone leaned on you for support. Maybe a friend needed your shoulder to cry on, maybe a co-worker needed a ride to work. What about the last time you held the door open for a stranger?

Everytime we take a moment to put someone else's needs before ours - to help someone out - we feel good about ourselves.

Enter oral sex. Why do we even offer it to our partner? Because we like the taste of their private parts? Maybe - some do. But the majority of us "go down" because of the pleasure we know it gives them. And in giving them this pleasure, we are able to feel good ourselves.

I, for one, love the feeling of empowerment I get when I go down on a man. Knowing that I can make him moan and groan and grind, and feel things he can't ordinarily feel, is a huge rush! And what do I hear consistently from the men who want to go down on me? "It turns me on to hear the noises you make when I'm going down on you." It's not only that they want to please me...it's that in pleasing me they are activating a sexual spark in themselves - they get turned on by turning me on.

It's also the general consensus that oral sex creates a unique form of intimacy - different from intercourse. Perhaps this is because there is still a certain "naughty" aspect connected to oral sex. Whereas the majority of people will engage in sexual intercourse at some point in their lives and relationships, not all of them will engage in oral sex. In doing so, then, you could be creating a 'special' bond that you can't necessarily share with any and all partners.

Sexual intercourse allows couples to retain some element of romance in their interaction - they can still kiss and hug and 'cuddle' while making love. By performing oral sex, both men and women are "facing" the direct sexual source of their partner up close and head on. It's a different, more 'raw' kind of personal.

Bonding, intimacy, and sexual connection aside, oral sex might be worth learning simply because chances are your partner will want it. You might be saying to yourself "Well so what? There's lots of things we all want that we don't get...I'm just going to add oral sex to the list."  Well, I wish it was that simple.

The plain truth is that when men allow the little head to rule the big head (and they do this very very often) "i love you but you're not getting a blow job" doesn't cut it. It's not right (I agree) and it's not fair (I still agree), but it doesn't change the state of affairs (pun intended).

If you believe your partner would never seek out oral sex from someone else just because he's not getting it from you, then I hope you know him well enough to be right. If you have any doubts, though, I would encourage you to consider learning this new skill. On top of holding on to your man, you will also benefit from all the perks I've listed above!

In Blow Him Away: An Escort's Guide to Giving Exceptional Head, I address womens' fears of oral sex and outline the best way to face these fears and overcome them. If you feel you could use additional support, please check out the Resources Page on this site for some programs that can help!